"I was drunk and angry and stupid... and blogging."
My life is so routine it's ridiculous. I need something to do. I need an idea. (inside joke). One more year hopefully. One more year till I hopefully move out to a school that is far far away. Well not too far. Still in California, but not commuting distance. Nothing seems to be new anymore. Seeing re-runs and remakes only makes it worse. Doesn't anyone try to think of something new for a change? No. Why you ask? Because it's not worth it. There's always the risk factor. What does it come down to? Money. Why take the risk with something new when you can redo something that was already popular once before? No imagination. No effort. Laziness. I am writing this to you because I need something to keep me busy from writing my personal statements that I need to apply to UC's. For you foreign students (you know who you are), UC stands for University of California. With Cal States, we just fill in the blanks. What classes have you taken, and what grades have you gotten. Now for UC's, they want to know what makes you, "you." (I'm probably going to have a bunch of punctuation errors so go screw yourself for caring. This is a blog, not an editorial in the New Yorker). One more year... dot dot dot. New challenges. New excitements. How great, right? Not really. I'm sure I'll just fall back into routine one I get things going again. It's all a cycle. It's all a bubble. Once that bubble bursts, we're all screwed. I quote a lot. So forgive me. I have nothing or no one to write about, but for those of you with a 20 second attention span, you probably haven't even gotten this far on this blog. Why read right? Why not just be told everything? Follow directions and stick to them. Don't do things for yourself. No. That's thinking outside of the box. That's going against everything that they teach you. Read this. Write that. Think this. Do that. Blah. Blah. But wait. Wait a minute. Once you come up with an idea, an idea that can actually sell. They want it. It's then that they'll give you some consideration. So let's not celebrate the creative, let's celebrate the lazy. I'm not saying I'm the hardest worker out there. Because I'm not. I'm blogging for Christ's sake. I'm not out there working my ass off to support myself. Because I am already supported. I'm sheltered. And there lies the problem. Everyone's sheltered these days. (Now until we're 26). I haven't re-read this thing or proofread it, so if it sounds ridiculous, I apologize. But let's face it, maybe 1 person will make it this far. And for you I say, "thanks." Until next time, keep your head up.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Day 54
I've been having pretty weird dreams lately. So I am taking this opportunity to document them to have them saved for years and years to come; well at least until blogspot goes under. Let's be honest, with the economy where it is right now, anything can go.
But that's not the point. The point is that my dreams have been pretty crazy the past few nights. Must be the drugs. Just kidding. I don't, nor have I ever, done illegal substances. For the record, this blog does not condone, nor does it encourage the use of harmful drugs.
Back to the point. Here is a story of one of the dreams I do remember quite vividly. You don't have to read it if you do not wish to, but it's for pure entertainment purposes only. So let's begin.
The sun is beginning to rise and I can see it's light pierce through my window shades. I think it's morning so I try to get enough energy to get myself out of bed. I lay there for a while, staring at the ceiling. It's summer time, so unless I have something truly important to do, I take my time in bed. Finally I bring myself to my feet and walk towards the door. I reach for the doorknob and slowly turn it. A lady is standing on the other side. A little startled, I ask who she is... No answer. I ask what she was doing there. She responds, "Hello, Brian. How have you been?" I say I'm doing just fine. She asks me if I would like to feel ten times better, as if I have just awoken from the best sleep of my life. I say, "Sure, that sounds great." She begins to tell me about this procedure that will rejuvenate my body and give me tons of energy. It will make my body look great and make me feel even better. I ask how it works. She says, "All you have to do is go back to sleep and we'll do everything for you." So I do just that. I walk back to my bed and get under the covers. I don't mind trying to fall back asleep again. She leaves and closes the door.
I am awoken by the feeling of someone pulling on my arm. They have a long needle that they stick into the side of my shoulder. It was the same lady I saw earlier. I get a little woozy but my eyes are still open. A man with a doctor's suit and one of those old-fashioned reflector's on his head walks into the room. There's dry blood around the chest of his suit, with wet blood dripping down his stomach. The lady notices I can still move so she sits by my head and puts her arm around my face, her right palm covering my mouth.
From his tray of supplies, the doctor brings out a circular saw and revs it up. I'm still trying to fight my way out of this, but the lady continues to hold me down. The doctor comes closer to me, and begins cutting into the right side of my stomach. I feel the pain but I can't scream. Organs start falling out; stomach first, and liver after. I feel myself throw up inside, but I can't do anything about it. Eventually I pass out from the sight of this awful situation.
I wake up once again for what seemed like hours later. I put my feet on the floor but still sit on the bed. I see marks all over my body and feel the ridges from the cuts. I stand up to try to walk to the door, but another lady storms in. She says, "What are you doing here?!" Confused, I say, "I don't know, but I want to get out!" She says they do this all the time. I ask, "Who?" but she ignores me. All she said to me was that if you wake up before they finish the procedure, it'll be like it never happened. I say, "I'm asleep right now?" She continues her explanation of how none of this is real, and that she has the right drug that can wake me up. I tell her to give it to me quickly so I can get out of there. She shows me the needle, and tells me that the only way to take it is for her to place the needle in the gum behind my lower teeth. By this time, I'll do anything to get out of here. So I lay on my back. She hovers over me and brings the needle out. Slowly, she lowers it into my mouth. I can feel it pierce my gums. I twitch a little. She begins to push down the needle but something goes wrong and it slips. I hear a crack. The needle breaks off. I get worried but I have a feeling that she has another syringe she could easily use to inject the drug. She sits up with her back against the wall, looking terrified. "That's it. There's nothing I could do." I ask, "What do you mean?! I can still get out right?!" We hear footsteps coming towards the door. She says, "They're coming and I don't have anything left. It's over." I get mad. "You have to get me out of here! I can't be stuck here forever!" She keeps repeating to herself in a loud whisper, "It's over."
The footsteps get louder. My adrenaline pumps faster. "Help me!" I'm practically shaking her head off her body. The footsteps reach the door. I turn around and see the doorknob turn. I get up and run towards the door. Right before I get to it, the door swings open and I jump through it. As I'm in the air going into the darkness, a giant force shoves me back and I go flying into the wall behind me.
Right when my back hit the wall, I woke up. This time in real life. It had to be real. It felt real. It was morning the next day. I made it.
But that's not the point. The point is that my dreams have been pretty crazy the past few nights. Must be the drugs. Just kidding. I don't, nor have I ever, done illegal substances. For the record, this blog does not condone, nor does it encourage the use of harmful drugs.
Back to the point. Here is a story of one of the dreams I do remember quite vividly. You don't have to read it if you do not wish to, but it's for pure entertainment purposes only. So let's begin.
The sun is beginning to rise and I can see it's light pierce through my window shades. I think it's morning so I try to get enough energy to get myself out of bed. I lay there for a while, staring at the ceiling. It's summer time, so unless I have something truly important to do, I take my time in bed. Finally I bring myself to my feet and walk towards the door. I reach for the doorknob and slowly turn it. A lady is standing on the other side. A little startled, I ask who she is... No answer. I ask what she was doing there. She responds, "Hello, Brian. How have you been?" I say I'm doing just fine. She asks me if I would like to feel ten times better, as if I have just awoken from the best sleep of my life. I say, "Sure, that sounds great." She begins to tell me about this procedure that will rejuvenate my body and give me tons of energy. It will make my body look great and make me feel even better. I ask how it works. She says, "All you have to do is go back to sleep and we'll do everything for you." So I do just that. I walk back to my bed and get under the covers. I don't mind trying to fall back asleep again. She leaves and closes the door.
I am awoken by the feeling of someone pulling on my arm. They have a long needle that they stick into the side of my shoulder. It was the same lady I saw earlier. I get a little woozy but my eyes are still open. A man with a doctor's suit and one of those old-fashioned reflector's on his head walks into the room. There's dry blood around the chest of his suit, with wet blood dripping down his stomach. The lady notices I can still move so she sits by my head and puts her arm around my face, her right palm covering my mouth.
From his tray of supplies, the doctor brings out a circular saw and revs it up. I'm still trying to fight my way out of this, but the lady continues to hold me down. The doctor comes closer to me, and begins cutting into the right side of my stomach. I feel the pain but I can't scream. Organs start falling out; stomach first, and liver after. I feel myself throw up inside, but I can't do anything about it. Eventually I pass out from the sight of this awful situation.
I wake up once again for what seemed like hours later. I put my feet on the floor but still sit on the bed. I see marks all over my body and feel the ridges from the cuts. I stand up to try to walk to the door, but another lady storms in. She says, "What are you doing here?!" Confused, I say, "I don't know, but I want to get out!" She says they do this all the time. I ask, "Who?" but she ignores me. All she said to me was that if you wake up before they finish the procedure, it'll be like it never happened. I say, "I'm asleep right now?" She continues her explanation of how none of this is real, and that she has the right drug that can wake me up. I tell her to give it to me quickly so I can get out of there. She shows me the needle, and tells me that the only way to take it is for her to place the needle in the gum behind my lower teeth. By this time, I'll do anything to get out of here. So I lay on my back. She hovers over me and brings the needle out. Slowly, she lowers it into my mouth. I can feel it pierce my gums. I twitch a little. She begins to push down the needle but something goes wrong and it slips. I hear a crack. The needle breaks off. I get worried but I have a feeling that she has another syringe she could easily use to inject the drug. She sits up with her back against the wall, looking terrified. "That's it. There's nothing I could do." I ask, "What do you mean?! I can still get out right?!" We hear footsteps coming towards the door. She says, "They're coming and I don't have anything left. It's over." I get mad. "You have to get me out of here! I can't be stuck here forever!" She keeps repeating to herself in a loud whisper, "It's over."
The footsteps get louder. My adrenaline pumps faster. "Help me!" I'm practically shaking her head off her body. The footsteps reach the door. I turn around and see the doorknob turn. I get up and run towards the door. Right before I get to it, the door swings open and I jump through it. As I'm in the air going into the darkness, a giant force shoves me back and I go flying into the wall behind me.
Right when my back hit the wall, I woke up. This time in real life. It had to be real. It felt real. It was morning the next day. I made it.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Fifty-Third Day
I look to my left and turn the handle. The door pops open and I slowly get out. Walking through the parking lot on that dark Summer night, I could physically feel the invisible heat passing my face with each step. I walk alone towards the building, noticing that the large "W" on the side seems to be a bit brighter than the rest of the letters. Not knowing how to handle the situation, I carefully pull out a shopping cart from the lineup and begin my quest. I think to myself how could a place like this be this crowded this late at night? Kids were running everywhere as parents tried to get a hold of them. Toys were strewn on the floor, their packages half-opened and items missing. It wasn't a few steps away until I was brought to a halt by a woman in a nursing outfit bringing a half-gallon bottle of milk up to the check out counter. I politely say, "excuse me" and adjust my path to avoid running into her. She smiles and gives an approving nod. Barely making my way through the crowd, I notice the magazine stand that holds all the unnecessary periodicals of the week. Preparing for what I was about to purchase, I reach out for the latest issue of People Magazine and place it in the top part of the shopping cart where children are supposed to sit. I pull back and twist my way towards the main path. I was here for a specific reason; something that has been on my mind for months now. Still a little insecure, I casually turn into the correct aisle. I try to draw as little attention to myself as possible by keeping quiet and pretending to fit in. Spotting what I wanted, I reach my hand out to grab the second one in line; a little superstition of mine. I place my item under the magazine and turn around to face the front of the store. Step by step, I'm lightly sweating underneath my baseball cap. I take a minute to remove my cap and wipe my forehead with the side of my right sleeve. I get to the self-checkout line. Empty. Perfect. Push start. Scan item. Place in bag. Insert cash. Remove change. Place item in cart. I leave the People Magazine in the cart as it only served as a cover up of my real reason for being there. I take the bag out and return the cart to the excessively long line of unused shopping carts. The lady at the front of the store witnessed me pay for my item in line, so she throws me a grin and waves me across. Once outside the store, I felt accomplished. It was like unwrapping the golden ticket and running home to fully witness all the power it held. Trying not to get overly excited and cause a scene in the parking lot, I slow my pace down just a notch. A quick brisk walk to the car and I'm in. Not even a blip on the radar. Completely unnoticed. Perfect. Keys in the ignition. Turn and go. Another day. Another job well done.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Day 52
I thought I'd share some facts with you about myself.
So here are 25 quick facts:
1. I am of Mexican descent. Even though my skin is more pale than a whiteboard.
2. I enjoy Math way more than English.
3. I don't have set plans for how I want to live in the future.
4. I don't like to go out much. I would rather stay home or chill at a friend's house.
5. I have to set two alarms before I go to bed. One on my alarm clock, one on my cell phone.
6. I have an HTC Droid Eris cellular phone.
7. I have a Chrysler 300M car that's been passed down for ten years now.
8. My favorite TV shows include The Office, Family Guy, South Park, That 70's Show, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The King of Queens, iCarly, and Entourage.
9. I'm quiet around most people until I'm more comfortable to speak.
10. My favorite movie is "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."
11. I hate leaving history in my search bar on Google or any website.
12. I'm good at most sports, but I'm not great at any single sport.
13. I enjoy literally any type of music, including some country.
14. I've only worn a cast once in 1st grade when I fell out of a tree and broke my wrist.
15. It bugs me when people don't spell things right.
16. There's music playing in my head 24/7, unless I'm listening to it from another device.
17. I hate dancing.
18. I think Tina Fey and Aubrey Plaza are freaking beautiful.
19. I have a Sony Vaio Laptop.
20. I think I'm 6 foot 1 inch tall. Not official. Doctor's screw it up somehow.
21. My favorite sport to play is baseball.
22. I find Myspace and Facebook a waste of time, even though I have a blog and a Twitter.
23. I've gone semi-streaking once.
24. The longest I've stayed up was probably a day and a half. I need sleep.
25. I take about an hour to get ready because I move slow and have a fear of smelling.
More to come later.
So here are 25 quick facts:
1. I am of Mexican descent. Even though my skin is more pale than a whiteboard.
2. I enjoy Math way more than English.
3. I don't have set plans for how I want to live in the future.
4. I don't like to go out much. I would rather stay home or chill at a friend's house.
5. I have to set two alarms before I go to bed. One on my alarm clock, one on my cell phone.
6. I have an HTC Droid Eris cellular phone.
7. I have a Chrysler 300M car that's been passed down for ten years now.
8. My favorite TV shows include The Office, Family Guy, South Park, That 70's Show, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, The King of Queens, iCarly, and Entourage.
9. I'm quiet around most people until I'm more comfortable to speak.
10. My favorite movie is "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest."
11. I hate leaving history in my search bar on Google or any website.
12. I'm good at most sports, but I'm not great at any single sport.
13. I enjoy literally any type of music, including some country.
14. I've only worn a cast once in 1st grade when I fell out of a tree and broke my wrist.
15. It bugs me when people don't spell things right.
16. There's music playing in my head 24/7, unless I'm listening to it from another device.
17. I hate dancing.
18. I think Tina Fey and Aubrey Plaza are freaking beautiful.
19. I have a Sony Vaio Laptop.
20. I think I'm 6 foot 1 inch tall. Not official. Doctor's screw it up somehow.
21. My favorite sport to play is baseball.
22. I find Myspace and Facebook a waste of time, even though I have a blog and a Twitter.
23. I've gone semi-streaking once.
24. The longest I've stayed up was probably a day and a half. I need sleep.
25. I take about an hour to get ready because I move slow and have a fear of smelling.
More to come later.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Fifty-First Day
Damn haven't written in sooooo long. It's been way to long haha. I figure I'm going to write in paragraph form now. No point in hittin' the enter key over and over again. But anyways, getting back to the point. It's been a while. Nothing new has really happened. Been busy with school, once again. That shit is so pointless. I really want to transfer. Go to a cal state. Get my own apartment, and live on my own. I wonder how that would work out. I really have nothing much to say. So this post might be pointless. I'll try to think of the things that I've done over these past few months as I write this. Holiday's aren't holidays anymore. They're just normal days. Family dinners. No one celebrates Halloween or Christmas as much anymore. I guess because we're not 6 years old again right? Oh well. I finally got shit for my camera. A wide angle lens, a mic, and a light. Super legit. I can't wait to film stuff. But I just don't know what to film yet. Maybe I'll try writing my own little script for like a 5 minute movie. We'll see how that works out. I've tried before, but my scripts sound too fake and corny. The dialogue just sounds too 'scripted.' Oh well. I will work on it. I haven't used any 'networking' sites in a while. I deleted my myspace and facebook. All I have is a twitter now. I saw the other ones as pointless. Twitter is also a waste of time, but I want to have at least something. I forgot all my passwords for my other sites like this blog one and ebay and photobucket. My e-mail is filled with password resets now. Haha this post is so boring. I need a deep thought. Something that'll make you ponder for a bit. When I think of one, I'll quote it. Just wait a minute though... Just finished the winter session at Citrus. Took college algebra. Got a 108% in the class. Eazy Peezy haha. Now I get about 5 days off and the Spring Session starts wednesday. Damn I just want to get out of there. It's so boring. No one talks. No one does anything. All they do is complain how much work there is and how the teacher talks on and on about anything. Oh well. That's their opinion. I think that's about it. Haven't done much else. Went to a benefit for haiti show last week starring it's always sunny in philadelphia and family guy. It was so great. I really wish they have another one again. It was one of the best shows I've been to. It sucked when it was over. Was so sad. haha oh well. We'll always have the seasons to watch. Great shows. That's about it. I'm done for now. Off to find something to keep myself busy. Until next time. Enjoy this picture.
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